(Anyway, I’ve just found myself exploring the topic of questioning… by using the method of asking questions itself.)
It’s fascinating to discover the multitude of reasons behind why we ask questions. Some people ask to seek answers, knowledge, and understanding. Some ask to solve pressing problems. Others ask to express engagement and to connect or communicate. There are those who ask for purely procedural or bureaucratic reasons. Some questions serve specific, and sometimes less transparent, purposes—such as to insinuate, to subtly put down another person, or to gain control or influence. Then there are those who ask simply for the sake of asking, without any particular purpose—they may not even care about the answer they receive. So, the landscape of human questioning is vast and deeply interesting.
Conventional logic suggests that the reason we ask questions is simply to find answers. We pose a question to someone because we expect them to provide a response—we need that answer to gain the knowledge or information we lack.
However, the reality is much more nuanced. Just take this one example—questions asked for procedural reasons. Imagine you are filling out a form for an institution. The form is essentially a series of questions, and you are required to answer them. While correct answers are necessary for the procedure to function, the people behind the form may not have a genuine desire to know your personal details; they are often just fulfilling a procedural obligation. Frequently, once the form is submitted, the answers may never be thoroughly read, even by the one who created the questionnaire.
Then, another example. Many of us ask questions because we wish to engage and communicate. A question can be a wonderful tool to break the ice. Without a question, communication may not naturally begin. For instance, if you pass your neighbor and ask, “It’s so sunny this weekend, isn’t it? Do you have any plans?” you likely aren’t seeking a detailed itinerary. Your underlying reason for asking is simply to strengthen your connection and foster good relations.
There are also questions driven by specific intentions. Some individuals wish to challenge or belittle their conversation partner but feel unable to do so directly—perhaps because the other person holds more power, or the situation is too sensitive. So, they resort to pointed questions as a circumspect method. Others use questions to guide conversations, steer decisions, or reveal hidden agendas. And don’t forget to mention them: those who ask simply because they feel like it. This is distinct from seeking engagement; they are not concerned with the other person’s feelings, nor do they truly care about the answer once it is given. They ask merely for the act of asking itself. Delving into these motivations is a truly captivating endeavor.
How about me? Do I have specific reasons for asking questions?
Absolutely. In this Symbolic Consultation session, I ask questions to provide a quality and professional service. True to my motto, “Symbolic,” my goal is to dig beneath the surface, and this deep inquiry is what allows me to deliver consultations grounded in premium quality and expertise.
One of the most important questions I ask my clients is: “What questions do you have for me in this consultation?”
Of course, there are other necessary questions, like your name, email, and a few other relevant basic details — I don’t ask for unnecessary or sensitive personal information. This simply helps me deliver a more accurate and personalized session for each client.
However, the questions you ask me are the ones that truly help me understand you. From your questions, I can better grasp your needs, your challenges, and your perspective. Without your questions, I have no pathway to understanding you deeply, and the consultation session would be far less effective.
So, we see that the purposes behind questions are varied. Some intentions are good, and others may be perceived as less so. Hmm, speak honestly. Maybe it is not even fair to label them as “bad.” That’s true, sometimes, a person’s goal in asking a question is to insinuate, put down an opponent, guide a conversation, or reveal a hidden agenda—but, perhaps, this is not necessarily a negative thing in every context? That’s why it is wise for us to question the purpose behind a question, so we can avoid making rash statements that could have negative consequences, such as blaming, cornering, or hurting someone.
And. It is also possible for the person being asked to misunderstand the questioner’s intent. For example, a questioner may be sincerely seeking knowledge, but the other person might interpret it as an attempt to insinuate or put them down. This can happen due to a questioning style that doesn’t suit the situation, the culture, or the mindset of the person being asked. Furthermore, because people have different goals for asking, the purpose behind a question in one instance may be entirely different from the reason for a question in another. A dangerous situation can arise when a questioning method suitable for one purpose is confused with a method intended for another.
After reading my reflections on asking questions, are you feeling intrigued to ask some of your own?